Filthy Clean

O.k., yes, I have an obsessive amount of posts lately. But, this is my journal. This is it. And I'm completely consumed by the fact that my kids are growing at whirlwind speeds. They won't be little for much longer and as much as I'm excited to watch them grow, I don't want them to grow. Last night Asher woke up crying. I snuggled with him, completely aware of his weight, his chubbiness and his breathing noises, in attempts to memorize what it feels like to hold a cuddly 10-month-old. The best feeling! So, this is the only way I can think to keep them little.....tons of pictures.....trying not to admit to myself that it won't work....no, it will work. It will. They will always need me. They will always be looking up at me, saying funny things. They will always have cute little fingers and toes. They will always want piggyback rides. They will always grab my hand to pull me somewhere. They will always pat the seat next to them to invite me to watch cartoons.

We are currently at the end of the development and gutter, so we have a perfect mud puddle that collects at the corner of our driveway. I remember as a child that the rain collected into a huge puddle at the end of our driveway as well. We had some fun times in that rain puddle. I love when I can relive my own childhood memories through my children. I think my childhood rain puddle must be part of the reason I love rain so much? I'm not quite sure. But, there's nothing that immediately boosts my mood the way rain does. Pessimism turns into optimism and happiness turns into pure exuberance with one flash of lightening. Love it, love it, love it! I love how it smells (the only smell that is in contention with Jason's shaving cream), I love how beautiful it makes the world look. I love the warm coolness of it.

Children really know how to experience life with no reservation, worry or concern for the past or for the future. I'm trying to learn that from them - to enjoy each moment to its fullest. For example, enjoying every drop of this mud puddle experience without thoughts of the laundry that will need to be done, the clothes that might be ruined, the baths that will need to be taken. There's a strange quote in my family. I'm not sure where it originated, but it applies well here: "Roll up your britches when you get to the creek" meaning, it doesn't need to be done before it's time to do it. We don't need to think about it until it's time to think about it. Difficult for people, like myself, who like everything planned out, mapped out, figured out, completed, accomplished, done.