A String of Thought

I've entered a new stage of motherhood. Sad to say, it has taken me this long to begin the process of switching from a "this is all about me" mentality to "this is all about my kids". As I slowly adjust to three children I'm trying not to take it for granted. I'm starting to realize that it's not going to last for too long (even though at moments it seems like it's going to last forever) :) I get teary just thinking about how tired I am of sticky little hands on couches and yet how much I'm going to miss them (the little hands, not the stickiness) :) How do you soak in all their cuteness enough or enjoy it enough during the up-8-times-during-the-night nights or the three-children-demanding-my-attention-at-the-exact-moment-with-lungs-to-prove-it moments? I guess the trick is to express gratitude in the moments that allow you the mental space to be grateful. I'm having an especially thankful day today. Ethan was so giggly before his nap, I almost wanted to stay in there and make him giggle all day. Asher was smiling like crazy before his nap - he has the hugest smile with the the cutest dimple. McKenzie and I just finished reading stories for "McKenzie Time" and she is now having quiet time. As I walked her downstairs for quiet time, she said "You're my best sweet Mom" It made my whole day. Days like this remind me what is important and what brings the most happiness. I want to become the Mom I dream I can be (one very similar to my own mom). I want my children to enjoy a slow-paced childhood. I want them to have time to wash and dry their hands their way before bedtime (McKenzie prefers to dry her hands very thoroughly on each and every towel - probably a stalling tactic). I don't want them to be rushed from one thing to the next. Less is more. I thought about putting McKenzie in preschool. Instead we have "McKenzie Time" - her one on one time with me where she gets to decide what we do. We put our television down in storage at the beginning of the month. I love looking into my family room and seeing a plant in its place. Couches can face couches now. People can face people. On our first night without a t.v., Jason and I sat down on the couches to relax and, lo and behold, we were facing EACHOTHER! We talked and laughed. We started planning game night parties and family home evenings as we went through the ward list trying to find the couples that were "our type" and wondering what the other one of us "saw" in other certain couples. We quickly found that, wow, amazingly enough, we were actually just as entertaining as television. "The Office" has nothing on us. I thought we would miss t.v. We haven't. It's just one less thing that clutters up our time. I was even more surprised to find out that our kids haven't missed it. Our family room is like a new room that has been added onto our house. Instead of a place to slump down and turn off the mind in front of noise, our family room now represents a different quality of life to me. A life full of quiet, calm, peace, time for reflection, time for giggling, time to measure ingredients, knead dough, let bread rise, and recognize it's delicious warmth and smell, time for cotton ball spoon races, time for gazing into eyes and figuring out what is really being said, time to practice being the Mom I dream of being one day. Hopefully my children won't notice the difference while I'm in the "faking it" stage of "fake it 'til you make it".

Well, you got more than you bargained for in this post! The strangers and the strangers of strangers reading this are definitely going to feel like intruders now. I've just opened up my heart for the world to view. Hope you enjoyed it blog invaders! :)